The Michael Jackson Religion

Morphosyntactic Rating:

– [Michael Jackson] noun masc singular.

– [Michael Jackson] adjective masc singular.

Synonyms: Jacko, Jacksonian.

Antonyms: Joe Jackson, anti-Jackson, Prince.

Related words: moonwalking, salvation, end of times, new era, thriller, truth, heaven, never land, Peter Pan.

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Michael Jackson: The term can either be used to determine the religion of our only God and savior, the glorious king Michael Jackson, as any one of its most worthy worshipers, also known as Jacksonians.

  1. I sang my sins to our Lord Michael Jackson.
  2. That Michael Jackson is a fine young man, I want him to do a bad with my daughter.
  3. I beat it three times today with my friends Michael Jackson.

Here follow excerpts from the book Our Beloved by Rudá Castro, the brazilian theologian who specializes in our Lord Michael Jackson.

“It’s hard to find nowadays who doesn´t know the story of our savior, the glorious Michael Jackson. Perhaps the infidels worshipers of the Sheen, residents of the eastern states. But not even they in there position can refuse to recognize his glory.”

Page 12

 

“As we all know, our savior decided to make himself flesh in the middle era of the American Empire, by impregnating the virgin, the beautiful, Janet Jackson. His birth, a blessing in itself, was picked up by radio signals, which immediately brought three producers from faraway lands to the garage that his mother gave birth. Each one with a gift: a gold record in which he would record his first glory, a pair of gold sandals that would bless us with his moonwalking and a golden comb to straighten his beautiful hair. Beautiful hair that born curly, one of the first temptations for him, now made flesh, from the devil Joe. ”

Page 37

 

“A Jacksonian besides after 3 months of birth having in his baptism that horrible deformed thing, called by the infidels sheenians, nose, cut off, also passes through a process called the rejuvenescense of the color, through the ancient baths, which gives him the best possible appearance of milk. And so, the best to react to this process are recognized as those with the real blessing of Michael Jackson.”

Page 154

 

“It is difficult to consider what life is like as a Sheenian. How someone can spend a day without dancing at least three times the moonwalking into the direction of Never Land.”

Page 198

 

“As reported by one of his twelve apostles, Peter Pan, one of his main truths was: never age. And so we all Jacksonians must strive to make the most of our childhood in all aspects of our lives. A truth that was better understood by the Venezuelan president of the Lower Empire, when he made a total reform of his major city, Miami, in order to comply with this rule. Replacing all of its buildings with tree houses, and all public transportation with soapbox cars. ”

Page 382

 

“The first great schism in the Michael Jackson was the confusion about differing interpretations of the reports of his apostles, especially between Peter Pan, Bubbles, Macaulay Culkin and Corey Feldman. Especially in relation to Billy Jean, the prostitute, who would be responsible for our savior to abandon his corporeal form at thirty-three years.”

Page 399

 

“In Michael Jackson I found myself

I, you, my brother and sister are all Jackson

I love Michael Jackson, as he loves me

lets moonwalk, moonwalk lets my friend

because I am bad, bad as our Lord. ”

 

“Hare Jackson, hare Jackson, Jackson Jackson, hare, hare, Michael Jackson.”

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